Changing The Narrative

Walking through a barn on a sunny morning, knowing that the next couple hours are going to be spent with your horse and not the thoughts of the humdrum just hits different. The warm air fills up your lungs, the birds chirping in your ears, and suddenly you're transported to a place that is unique to us equestrians. 

This has to be my favorite part about owning horses. The lifestyle brings its own peace with it. Which is why it hurts my heart to hear people openly speaking negatively about their horses. First, I feel sorrow for those who have succumbed to someone else’s opinion on how they should view horses. But second, I feel sorrow for the horses on the receiving end of this negativity. 

There are so many of us out there trying to do our best. We get really caught up in what everyone is thinking about us that we forget to enjoy what brought us here in the first place: Our love of horses. 

It has become an industry standard to speak about our horses as if they are subject to the same stresses that we humans are. Or that they think in the same fashion as we do.

Let me ask you this. How often do you hear a horse being called a name? These names often make us think that part of the horse’s personality is tied to its communication, when in reality it has nothing to do with that. Of course, I am not saying that we don’t all have moments of weakness. But my point is that a lot of us have been blinded by our limited thoughts on how horses handle life.

Probably the most common derogatory terms I hear when walking through a barn are “lazy, stubborn, red-headed dragon, mare-ish.” There are too many more to list them all, but you get the picture. Most people probably use these terms to keep the mood light and joke with their friends about how their ride went. On the other end, some actually mean them and use them to justify how they treat the horse. Simple thoughts like these turn into bigger thoughts like “You have to use X to get Y because that horse doesn’t like to move,” or “That horse just needs a good ‘what for’ to get into the trailer.” And even ones like “He’s only bucking to test you.” Regardless of the justification, the narrative needs to change. 

The problem with name calling is that it leads us further away from the truth and serves to feed the ego. We end up taking these justifications further and when a situation gets stressful, we jump to conclusions and blame the horse for its “problems” instead of breaking down our communication. Horses are actually pretty willing when they understand what we’re asking, and can safely perform the task.

To set our horses up for success, we should treat them, and talk about them, like the sentient beings that they are. Working with horses does not have to be a fight for dominance, nor does it need to be an ego battle. If we are working our horses for a personal gain, or to further feed an ego, we have already lost the battle that we started. The horse is simply there to respond and mirror what you’re feeding. 

It's often mares that get the bad wrap for their “attitude” but geldings, and even stallions, are treated this way, too. But what many don’t seem to think about is that most of the time, there is a reason for these behaviors. And we are not taking into account that horses generally have to get very loud to signal their distress, and we often miss the early, more subtle signs until it is too late. 

While we don’t need to go into detail today about providing the appropriate care for your horse, we do need to highlight the big players. Some questions I ask myself when I encounter a horse who is experiencing stress are the following: Are you meeting their environmental and biological needs? What kind of stress are they under? Are they physically and mentally capable of doing what you're asking? Could this be a misunderstanding, and do I need to change how I’m asking? Could it be a training issue? Is this horse experiencing fear or anxiety? Is there pain, or a memory of pain they have to work through? While these aren’t the only things that could be at play, they are often overlooked in the heat of the moment.

As predators, we need to remember that horses are prey. This means they are hard wired for survival. They will do whatever necessary to keep themselves safe if you are not providing that for them. Horse’s are not inherently lazy or spiteful or whatever term comes to mind when I. We have to understand that what they feel is very real to them, even if we don’t think it’s something to be concerned about. To take that seriously, and really listen to them, is to gain their trust. 

I feel that the hardest part of this problem is simply being human. We are so boxed in by our ideals and expectations. Horses have the ability to express free thought, where we don’t (societally speaking). The problem, however, manifests when we don’t listen to those thoughts. 

Take yourself away from reality for a moment. If you were free to do as you pleased, without experiencing negative consequences, would you do it? If you were asked by another party that you couldn’t speak directly to, to perform a favor or task, without a guarantee that it would benefit you, would you say yes? Most horses do say yes. They want to say yes. So as horse owners, shouldn’t we make it easier on them to do as we ask?

This can be done with a change in our language. Language is one of those things that box us in, but can also set us free. There are rules to follow when speaking (sometimes thinking). Horses don’t follow our rules. Horses follow the flow and feelings in the moment. 

In the years that I have been working with horses, I have learned to trust my gut when they tell me something is wrong. We need to stop normalizing these behaviors, and consider why they are on display in the first place. 

I think it is important to remember that horses become a product of their handling. When the day to day is rough, unclear, and stressful, the horse will become defensive, confused, and fearful. Using derogatory terms to describe our horses only hurts us in the long run. It puts us in a frame of mind that is not conducive to a positive relationship. This hinders the ability to read the situation for what it is.

If we can wholeheartedly say that pain is eliminated, the environment is stable, and there are no other signs of stress, then there is only one more place to look. Not many will like it, but we have to go deeper and evaluate ourselves.

It’s a puzzling thought to me, that so many of us have horses to escape from our daily lives, yet the amount of stress that horses and owners encounter is alarming. Whatever the reason for you, I can guarantee it didn’t start as a place to blame our problems on our horses. The ironic thing is that our animals tend to mirror us. Our personalities, flaws, emotional needs and deficits. Next time you go to name calling, I invite you to think bigger. 

A true understanding of what horses give us needs to be more present in our minds. They are living, breathing creatures with a soul just like us. They communicate their displeasure, just like us. We expect others to be understanding of our feelings and thoughts and what have you. But then a majority of us completely disregard that a horse is doing its best with the tools it’s been given.

I am not here to cause anyone grief. My goal has always been to put the horse above all. I simply invite you to look at your horse through a different lens. I know that most owners want what’s best for their horses, however they have been subject to outdated beliefs. It is high time we hold ourselves accountable as individuals, and stop waiting on the industry to change for us.

Change the narrative, for the horse.